I don’t care if all cliches have some truth in them: I hate them.

If I feel down, please don’t try to comfort me with cliches: I may have to inflict violence upon you and I am a pacifist. I particularly hate the saying ‘If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.’ If the idiot who came up with this nonsense can think of no worse calamity to illustrate his or her point than being given lemons, as far as I’m concerned, their limited life experience does not qualify them to offer words of wisdom. I have never been given lemons by anyone and if I was given lemons, I don’t imagine that I would be overly concerned, or spend hours wondering what to do with them. Image

If life gives you lemons then you can make lemonade, lemon cake, lemon curd, lemon marmalade, lemon roulade, lemon tea….it’s not fucking rocket science. But what if life gives you an enormous bucket of steaming horse piss? Environmentally friendly bio-diesel? Beer? Image

Homemade lemonade drinkers note: life’s tough moments require wisdom. Cliches suck because they offer obvious answers to banal questions. Only people who think that being given lemons constitutes a life crisis have time to make homemade lemonade: the rest of us have to go to work and that’s just for starters.

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8 Comments

Filed under Funny stuff, Musings on Life

8 responses to “I don’t care if all cliches have some truth in them: I hate them.

  1. hhhmmmm…. when life gives you a steaming bucket of horse piss…uh… you uummm… well you can… no errr thats no good… well… I guess you sit down and have a good cry because it smells dreadful and is pretty much useless (I know I googled it)…

    I HATE cliches too!!! they so don’t help, they just enforce the idea that you are useless at a time when when you desperately need to be useful… don’t people understand you just need them to be there, not to mutter useless expression at you because they feel inept at helping you through the rough patch…

  2. hmm, someone’s getting their peeve on. Nice. But I smell depths of peeve untapped. Could this be the caterpillar huff that gives way to the butterfly of full rant? I pray it is so!
    Me, I’d probably drink the horsepiss – but then I’m still in recovery from spokenheart’s party…

    • I might have a bit of peeve but you are the undisputed master of peeve! Can’t compete! 🙂
      P.S. I saw you dancing at spokenhearts’s party and it made me feel much better about my freestyle 😉

  3. I once had a supervisor I loved. He used to tell me, “If life give you lemons, turn that shit into GOLD!” He heard it somewhere, so he didn’t take credit for it, but I loved it when he would say that.

    My grandmother was the queen of cliche. I probably know more than most people. In the early 1900s they learned them in school. Something that I think is becoming a cliche and I hatehatehate it more than anything my grandma taught me is this: It is what it is.

    It is exactly what you said.
    “they just enforce the idea that you are useless at a time when when you desperately need to be useful… don’t people understand you just need them to be there, not to mutter useless expression at you because they feel inept at helping you through the rough patch…”

    Yes, and idiots . . . It isn’t what it isn’t as well. Thanks. A. Lot.

    Ooh good rant. I have recently discovered you through myspokenheart. Sounds like she had a good party! (see above)

  4. Pingback: Guest Blogger – FatW gets mean all over her own ass! (oh my god that sounds disgusting!) | ruleofstupid

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