Silence

Read the silence like a sheet of Braille

Thick and dense enough to touch

Fumble fondle over ridge and plane

Miles of endless static hush


Thick and dense enough to touch

Your hands a phantom cavalcade

Miles of endless static hush

Dim and darken; mute and fade


Your hands a phantom cavalcade

Flower and sink like earthy roots

Dim and darken; mute and fade

Remote and indehiscent fruits


This is my first effort at a pantoum. Thanks you Susan L Daniels for her encouragement and this poem which provided the inspiration and is much, much better than mine!

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19 Comments

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19 responses to “Silence

  1. Oh–this is GREAT! Now, a true pantoum has a set structure for the last stanza but DON’T you DATE change this–I love it!

  2. So, the structure for your last stanza would be #2 and #4 lines from your last stanza as #1 and #3, and #2 line would be line #3 from your first stanza, with the first line of the first stanza as the last in the poem, like so:

    Your hands a phantom cavalcade

    Fumble fondle over ridge and plane

    Dim and darken; mute and fade

    Read the silence like a sheet of Braille

    But, again, do NOT change what you have, it’s freaking brilliant!

  3. This is a very skilled work – form poetry is an art and easy to fluff up – but this is very heavy with meaning and very light with touch – which I think is the perfect combination.
    Anyway – must remorselessly take the piss out of Sue now for calling you Rambly!!

  4. *looks* I think that was a compliment?
    I wish I knew the combinations, the artistic way of writing poetry.
    I just type – what’s in my head without thought for combinations… sad but true 😦
    I did enjoy it though .. and yes I had to look up pantoum 😦

    • I do that too Ramblings: this was just an experiment…It took me days of blood sweat and tears (and Susan makes it look so easy! πŸ˜‰ It’s not sad…you have a love of self expression and your writing is real and meaningful…x

  5. Pingback: Wonderful Team Member Readership Award | rarasaur

  6. Sweet. I learned a new word. indehiscent. I am clearly in love with your words in general. You had me at: “Read the silence like a sheet of Braille.” I mean that’s just dope.

  7. Really really love this. And yes–don’t change a thing! Just do like they do in jazz, Do it again, say you meant to and create your own form. Each form has something unique to say. maybe a true pantoum would not be true to what you had to say…

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